hello :)

Sometimes I think life is funny, that God throws tests at us to test our faith and convictions. Especially when it's a desire that you've been wanting since young.

Even when you don't see the whole picture yet, you know that you still belong here. And that grip is probably the 'why' that I live for. Many questions, doubts, peppered with lots of 'why's and 'how's. Yet in the midst of it all, to continue trusting and believing. It is indeed a journey of faith.

And in this season of my life, reminding myself again to focus on my own race. Others' races belong to their own, and they have their own seasons of life.

The other day, I felt God telling me that I will find my fit.

Ebb and flow: a recurrent pattern of coming and going or decline and regrowth. How apt. Regrowing and realigning in my sense of purpose. I don't know what's ahead but I know He will lead. And that is more than sufficient for me.

So, I would like to share more about this certain fatigue that I encountered late last year. It was a whim of the moment kinda decision - I was supposed to be studying for my exams, it was about 1am. But I just wanted to procrastinate. So unknowingly, I sat there and scrolled mindlessly on my IG for two whole hours. I had a shock, how did time past by so fast?! I was just 'stalking' people, reading some celebrities' IG posts, and time was wasted just like that. It was a shocking awakening. So I decided then that I am going to delete IG till after my exams ended.

A few weeks past, my exams ended, I realized I didn't miss social media at all. (Okay granted, I still have FB, but I only use it to browse interesting articles/videos. Haha.) Thus I decided to just live without IG. And I've been relishing it! You don't feel like you are missing anything after a while. I love that freedom.

This is partly because I find IG world becoming more and more fake. I find people creating content just for the sake of popularity, and I yearn for authenticity and genuineness. I realized I've become so cynical of whatever people post, just because I don't quite agree with their intentions.

Increasingly, I become someone I dislike when I'm on social media. I am judgy, I am cynical, and I unknowingly like to compare my life with others, who seem to have so much more in life than me. It came to a point where I feel it's unhealthy for my soul.

Also, I don't quite agree with the need to justify my life on social media. Who says I need to post a picture with nice captions to 'justify' that I've been on a holiday? Who says I need to post a couple photo to 'justify' to the whole world that I'm still together with this certain guy? Why do I need to post any photo on social media to 'justify' its existence in my life? Many things became 'needful' because somehow, there was an invisible pressure to do so. For eg, wishing someone Happy Birthday. My life exists on its own with or without social media. I can still live a beautiful life without having the need to update the world about it.

So, I decided once and for all to delete for good. Yes I still do go on IG web version here and there! To check on some people I follow for inspiration (decor ideas, skincare guide etc). The web version is so laggy that I usually give up after a while. So it works. Haha!

But yes, I do miss posts from some of my real friends that I enjoy reading. Also posts of my friends' kids. So now, I would need to intentionally connect and message friends I've been thinking of. I think that's more meaningful! :)

I might change my thinking in the future, who knows. But for now, I'm happily living the IG-free life and I love it. :)

Hello! So I decided to start everything anew, with a NEW blog, rather than continue with the previous one. Haha. Reason being I think I've matured? And also there are just too many things to want to contain in an old blogspot.

I've always wanted to come back to blogging, but just didn't have the time to. I wanted to wait to have nice pictures, to know what to share, to know what to include. But I thought to myself, why not just start first? So, here we are.

Back in November 2017, I quit Instagram. (if you know me, you would know that it's quite a big deal personally. I used to be such an addict!) But I might just save that for another post altogether. So now, I find myself wanting an outlet and a platform to just share my thoughts. I am a words person, and since I want to shy away from social media, I'll just start here first. Haha.

But no, my purpose is not to become a popular social influencer, or the next big thing. Haha. I'm sorry but just a tad sensitive about such stuff, cynical about that as well. :p

So here's to me! Yay! Hopefully I can blog more often. :p And here's my big face with my fave 5yo. Haha.